Parental Involvement in Child Athletes Career

I am not a coach.  I am a disappointed mother.  My son has been playing on the basketball team at our school since 7th grade.  He is now a junior in High School.  He tried out last week for the varsity team and was cut.  What burns me is that there are kids who made the team who didn't attend summer events or open gym.  There is even a kid who does not go to our school but lives in the district who made the team.  

My son made every summer event, gets good grades and is an adequate basketball player.  His only downfall is that he doesn't make noise if he doesn't get to play.  He is content to sit the bench.  My question is, do coaches take into consideration a players other attributes besides their physical skill?  Does their attendance at off-season event make a difference?  Should I approach the coach with my concerns?

Mother in Michigan


Dear Mom,

It is difficult to judge the reasons for a coach's decision when I am not a party to all of the details.  I therefore will limit my comments to more of what I would be thinking in this situation as a coach and what a good coach should have considered.

First of all, as a coach who would require that my team respond promptly and decisively on the court in striving to win a championship, I would want players who attend all events, open gyms and are scholastically achieving to the best of their ability.  Unfortunately in the real world, much of the emphasis is now heavily placed on simply winning at all costs.  For the coach the temptation is to "look the other way" or create a double standard for athletes who are unquestionably talented and will contribute athletically to the team's success.  The coach must consider how important it is to win and at what cost.  I would hazard a guess however those coaches that compromise their discipline and standards for success will not survive very many years as a coach.    However, maybe you don't have all the facts concerning participation by others.  Maybe one of the players literally had to work all summer to help support a family and couldn't make the games or open gyms.
I simply can't make that assessment based on the information you have provided.

I have however been in the situation where I have had to cut or release great kids with good values, who contributed many things to a team and had adequate ability.  This is one of the most difficult decisions for a coach.  This decision must be based on the goals or objectives of the coach, team, and administration.  The rules at most schools limit a coaches ability to cut players at the junior high level for the very reason that it is too early to determine a players potential.  However, at each progressively higher level of the game it becomes more important to reduce the number of players to a level where adequate teaching and organization can occur for the greater time required to learn advanced skills.  This requires at times cutting nice kids with "adequate ability".  A coach is more likely to take a freshman or sophomore with lots of potential for playing at a higher level than keeping a junior whom may not have that perspective. This is where the distinction between varsity athletics and intramurals or recreational basketball begins.

I have seen, however in strong programs, where the coaches give the benefit of doubt to the older, hard working, adequately talented players and let the younger one's bide their time.  It is really a judgement call by the coach and one which both the coach, player, and parents must live with.  If you have serious concerns about why this decision was made I think it would be in order to ask for a meeting with the coach to have him explain this decision.  In the end you still may not agree with the answer.

I think that your son can turn this into a positive however because the situation is much like life.  We all get "cut" at some time and the victor isn't always the one who is best at any given moment in time, but the one who turns adversity into a positive.  When you lose badly one day, the champion comes back the next and strives to do their best in whatever field of study or athletics they enjoy.  Michael Jordan is one of the best examples for basketball because he was cut from his freshman high school basketball team.  I think Michael would be successful even if he weren't so gifted athletically.  Just as Thomas Edison failed in many attempts to invent the light bulb.  All is not lost in failing, but rather insight is gained into life.

Thanks for asking the Coach